Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Fiona Legs


We have been out of commission while trying to determine the cause for my swollen legs, termed "Fiona Legs" by my hotelier, Donna, with whom we stayed in NJ while seeking a medical solution. Many ER visits, ultrasounds, blood work, and doctor visits later, I have received a diagnosis. It is not the dreaded Mrs. Shrek condition, rather, I have either rheumatoid arthritis (not my personal favorite), or, arthritis robusto. As the last is closer to my personality, I have chosen it as my affliction.

The fluid was removed from one knee and I recommend this only for your worst enemy. Both knees were shot with lidocaine, cortisone, and a time release form of anti-inflammatory. As a result, I can currently walk without appearing like The Hulk and my 101 degree temperature is now normal, well, under normal but there is very little about me is normal. Beat you to it.

Now, if someone can tell me how to deal with a daily medication that cautions against daily alcohol, I can cope with my new life. Please advise promptly.

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